Every time I am asked which college I’m attending, there’s always this shame that starts to arise in me. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to terms that there has been so many benefits with going to a community college and that going to a university or any four year is not the only thing you can do with your life. However, maybe it’s a thing that junior college students don’t talk about often is the social life. It is extremely different than what your expectations of the college experience is.
When I was applying to colleges, I got into my top choice at the time and I was extremely happy about it. I still think about it to this day that if I had just went to the college that I got into how different my life would be. Decorating my freshmen dorm and making friends who live in the same hall as me. Walking or even biking to class. Having late night talks with people and stressing about my chemistry final that I procrastinated on studying.
Instead, I am here in my hometown. I attend class in the morning and rush to work in the afternoon. I do these tasks mindlessly without joy in my heart. Not saying that school has to be rainbows and sunshine all the time or that I am not able to have fun, but I would not feel so lonely if the circumstances were different. Or maybe I would.
I decided to go to a community college that none of my classmates from high school went to because I wanted a new start and see different faces. I choose that. But I was also influenced by those around me who encouraged me to go to this particular one due to the nursing program. Plans have changed and I don't want to partake in this nursing program which I can make a whole other blog post about.
The academic side of my brain told me that school is not a place where I have to makes friends. Technically, I am there for one purpose and it is to study and make the most out of my education. But it doesn't hurt to have people to support you when you're feeling down. It doesn't hurt to have people root for you and encourage you on your journey when you feel the world weighing on you.
During my first semester of college, I felt this emptiness that I haven't felt before. A sense of loneliness. I ate lunch alone sometimes (I had a friend twice a week to eat lunch with) and had no one to really talk to. I tried joining clubs on club rush but it didn't exactly work out with my schedule because I had work. I kept to myself most of the time during class besides small talk with my classmates. I fell into a state where I felt stagnant. Even my friends have said so.
It was so hard to bring myself back to a positive mindset when I was in this rut because I know that everything happens for a reason and I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Sure, it is easier said than done to just accept that what’s happening right now is just how it is. I realized that in the midst of being in my head 24/7, I did not see what I have gained by staying in the community.
Community college has seriously saved me tons of money. People in universities have even told me that others wish they choose this route instead and just transferred later on. The only two cons about going to one is the commute and my nonexistent social life.
However, with many days of going over this, I realized that the people who are meant to be in my life for my definition of a college experience just hasn't found their way to me yet and I haven't found the right people either. Instead of forcing it, I should just let it be and there should not be pressure to have a social life. I know that I can change my destiny, outlook, and mindset. I just have to remind myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now and trust the process.
